A potentially rambling - and boring! - Friday night blog about dance, death and trousers - all the important things in life!

Dance

I went out last night. I really should go out more often because it always makes me feel better. You'd think I'd know this by now but somehow it manages to slip my mind.

I went to Norwich to see Rambert Dance Company but nearly hadn't gone as they've performed there every year for as long as I can remember, to the point where all their performances blend into one and I've probably seen the same thing more than once without realising it. Thank goodness I anticipated boredom and booked a ticket as it was their strongest work yet!

The first piece was the bit that had interested me the most: a dance to a requiem with live choir. I have a feeling I've seen Northern Ballet do something similar but if I have the details escape me. I hardly know what a requiem is although I love what I think it is: a work of remembrance and mourning, and I'd always wanted to hear one sung so this was a good chance to do that. It wasn't a traditional requiem as most of the Latin had been ditched and replaced by poetry. Of the poems I only recognised one, that began, "In Flanders fields..." which we must have studied when we did war poetry at sixth form. It was sung in a gorgeous tenor, the stage all bathed in red light with diamante crosses hanging from the ceiling, which was very beautiful if a little Madonna.*

The bit before it was even better, a poem called "Do not stand at my grave and weep", which I instantly thought would be perfect for my funeral, but it turns out that's something of a cliched idea. I may not let that stop me.

These were the musical highlights, but there were also two rather spiky bits that were particularly fabulous and modern. It was thrilling to hear a choir sing, there's something about the way the voices blend into one thrilling sound that makes my heart race! I can't sing and never had the longing to be a solo singer, but when I hear a choir I wish I had enough voice to stand in a crowd and sing. It was so beautiful they made me cry.

And the dance? Well at first I didn't think it worked: the music was lush and slightly romantic, and the dancing was fluid and pretty, but the two didn't seem to mesh in any way. Then during one of the spiky bits it all fell into place and by the end of it I was on the edge of my seat!

I assumed the rest of the evening would just be filler, but I was wrong. The second bit involved three men and was a danced version of an interrogation, two men quizzing a third as he sat on a chair. What was fab was that they did tap steps but not in tap shoes, and really played with the idea of musical theatre. So when they came on with sticks you assumed the victim would get a beating, but instead they used them as canes and danced like Fred Astaire - it was clever, funny, great to watch and ridiculously physical.

The final piece was my least favourite, but by no means bad. It was called Infinity although how this related to the piece I'm not sure. The dancers used lots of jerking animal movements whilst petals fell from the ceiling in columns of light. It was pretty but I didn't really grasp its meaning.

And I can't write about dancers without raving about the men's bodies! I had a seat at the front of the circle, close enough to see the muscles moving in their arms. And close enough to see that they didn't have a single piece of body hair between them! There's something unreal about perfectly toned bodies, and to be honest I don't really find them attractive. I was in the minority though, the men dancing in their pants got screams from the students who were in.

*Interestingly Madonna has been causing quite a stir in Norwich without actually being there. A gallery there has an exhibition of celebrity photographs, which to be honest looks more like a Q magazine supplement than actual art. Apparently they put a picture of Madonna - the singer, not the mother of Christ - on a mirror cross, in the window and people complained so the police went round to have a word. Welcome to the fascist state of Norfolk! Thankfully the gallery owner refused to take it down, but I'm sure the religious nutjobs won't rest until his building has been burnt down. You'd thing in these times of financial crisis a picture of a middle-aged woman trying too hard to be controversial would be the least of people's worries!

Death

The poem that I thought so suited to a funeral got me thinking of my own funeral again. Not in a morbid way, just in a practical and organised kind of way. I'd hate it if my funeral was all carnations and wilted sandwiches. I'm imagining lilies, big hats and people weeping over an open grave. I realise I need to put some instructions in writing, but then what to do with it? Can I really just give my sister an envelope of instructions then ask her how the building work is going? Are we that modern?

I need to work out which songs should be played - I'd hate you all to be stood there cringing as you sing All things bright & beautiful. I promise I won't pick Robbie's Angels.

Anyway, this got me thinking about my favourite songs about death, as you do, so here's my Top Three Favourite Songs About Death:

Death cab for cutie (appropriate name!): What Sarah Said (I always thought it was called A&E). A gorgeous song about sitting in a hospital watching someone die. Having done exactly that with Dad, on what was easily the most horrific day of my life so far, the very idea of this song ought to send me screaming for the door, buts it's beautiful and makes me cry in a good way.

Pet Shop Boys: Your funny uncle. A song based on a true story of a funeral. My favourite song of theirs.

Yazoo: And On. The last song on their last album. "I ran my fingers through the long grass/Willing it to turn into your hair" always struck me as a beautiful lyric.

Don't let any of this make you think I'm maudlin because I'm not! And I'm hoping to live another forty years so at the moment this is all very theoretical!

Trousers

Thanks to 24 hour Tesco today I went to work in work type trousers, not confusing denim. All felt right with the world! And all for £14! Although it has to be said that they're a slightly strange fit, particularly round the thighs, which make me wonder what on earth shape Tesco think their customers are!

I''m having a bad fashion day! As I was getting dressed this morning the zip on my work trousers broke - hardly surprising as they only cost £8 and are older than I can imagine. I don't have an extensive work wardrobe -as long as it's clean, fits and doesn't make me look stupid it'll do, and I have no spares.

So I've gone to work in jeans, with a nice v-neck jumper and a tie. I look like someone who normally wears suits who is attempting to dress down and be a bit more 'with it'. The fact that my legs are short and the jeans are turned up doesn't help! I'm just pretending the whole thing isn't happening!

In other 'news' the man who I spent a lovely evening with in Brighton tells me I "quite turned his head". Bugger, I hate it when that happens! Expect madness at any moment...

I've stopped sulking at work because a) it's childish; and b) there's not much point when the person you're sulking with is so self-absorbed they don't notice you're sulking! I'm not any happier though, just chattier. And somehow I seem to have agreed to go to the work Christmas party. Honestly, the things I'll do for free Thai food!...

In the evening I could have entertained a showjumper, but he looked a bit thin and I'm always worried with thin men that I'll sit on them and break them, so I made my excuses. Instead I went through the wardrobe one more time and cleared out even more stuff I never wear, which makes me wonder why I ordered such a big new wardrobe... Then I watched Ugly Betty, which I'm loving right now, and chatted up a ginger scientist who looks exactly like a mad Christian I briefly went out with. It was one of those evenings!

I was a bit at the end of my tether work-wise yesterday so I adopted my "f*ck off, I don't want to speak to you" approach to dealing with my colleagues, which had the added benefit of meaning I got loads done.

Tap was less successful as having spent all day in my own head I felt slightly crazy and couldn't make my feet work. I was honest about it and she didn't seem to mind, and neither did I!

Today I'm feeling more positive: I have a list of things I need to do today and if I get them done I intend to reward myself with a full evening of sorting things out and hopefully throwing things away. And maybe a little cake.

Yesterday the sun vanished, as did my good mood. It wasn't the weather that took it away but work. There's a surprise! Never work with people you like too much to get cross with...

In the evening I should have had a gentleman caller but he texted me with the "I've got to work excuse", which saved me the bother of texting him with the feeble "something's come up" excuse. I really wasn't in the mood! Instead I moved the bed two feet further into the room, which sounds like a pathetic way to spend the evening but was something of a revelation! How set in my ways I must be when the thought of moving furniture seems impossible!

Who knew October could be so much fun! At this rate it could turn out to be my favourite month!

Last night I found myself in the only good restaurant in town with Jan, Barry, Ema & Alan, celebrating Barry's birthday. As ever the food was gorgeous. I had mussels to start with, because if I see them on a menu I just have to, followed by liver & bacon, which was stunningly good, and then an almond & date tart which was equally gorgeous. The wine flowed, and by the time we got up to leave my head was spinning slightly. Then back to Jan & Barry's for more wine and gossip. It was a lovely evening, great to see you all! XXX

This morning I took my mother shopping, which turned out to be slightly less fun than I'd hoped. I'm so relaxed at the moment that anyone who isn't of a similar state of mind just annoys me. No one would ever call my mother relaxed! Despite all that we managed to finish buying birthday gifts for my niece and resisted the urge to buy Christmas cards.

Then I spent the afternoon with FM & FMBF, who I haven't really seen much of lately. We ended up eating mince pies in bed, drinking tea and gossiping about celebrities - does life get any better than that?!