It's been a strange kind of day. I'm all organised for Christmas so there was no need to go near a shop, but the weather has been awful so it wasn't possible to do anything else outside. So I've been trapped indoors pottering, which is nice but I'll be doing that for nearly two weeks over Christmas so I'd rather have done something useful. Oh well.

So whilst I was avoiding the ironing I put together a few songs to blow away the cold winter blues, and not a Christmas song amongst them!

It was so cold today that I had to wear two jumpers to work! That's the downside of working in an open plan office made entirely of glass and poorly heated - the views may be spectacular but you'll die of pneumonia enjoying them!

It was a dull kind of day, with added madness. But by the end of it I'd organised myself a week of Morrissey next May: three gigs in one week, I'm officially overexcited! First up, the Royal Albert Hall, because I haven't been there for twenty years and it will be spectacular! Then a theatre on the pier in Great Yarmouth, where surely he will sing Everyday is like Sunday because it's about exactly that kind of town. And finally Cambridge Corn Exchange, because it's pleasingly local! I'd forgotten how much Morrissey makes my heart race!

The last couple of days have been a bit dull to be honest. Life feels like it's been paused. Nothing exciting is happening although I'm making preparations for future excitement. I'm on hold. And I don't like it!

Cards have been written (look out for the postman soon!) Gifts have been wrapped. Christmas decorations have been retrieved from the loft, although to be honest they make rather a woeful display! The trouble is the house is so nicely decorated right now I don't want to spoil it by poking drawing pins in things to hold up decorations. And there's no room for a tree, so it all looks a bit bah-humbug round here, although I can assure you that isn't how I feel at all! I think what I need is a great big pile of fairy lights.

I broke up the dullness with a visit from a married man. He was one of the ones I met a couple of weeks ago, although he wasn't the one I was hoping would come back! He was telling me more about his boyfriend and gave me his number, so I've been texting him and it turns out the boyfriend sees lots of people, which makes me wonder just what constitutes a boyfriend nowadays. There'll be more of this kind of madness over the weekend ;-)

In the meantime I'm in desperate need of book inspiration! The pile beside the bed is tiny, and when I went rummaging through the shelves for something old to re-read I was uninspired! A trawl through Amazon during a particularly dull moment at work this afternoon didn't help! Any ideas?

Today was the end of an era - it was our last ever tap class.

Twelve years ago in January I went to my first ever lesson after mentioning to a woman at work that I'd always want to tap dance. She soon gave up so I mentioned it to Ema and she started a few weeks later. Way back then there were loads of us, maybe thirty, squeezed into a small studio, all women apart from me. Which is now this blog got its name: the teacher used to get everyones attention by shouting, "Ladies!" then remembering that I'm not a lady she'd add, "And Garry!" And so a blog was born.

This last term we have been down to five people, which isn't enough to keep going so the teacher decided we had to stop. I'm philosophical about it - I'm grown-up enough to know that things come to an end naturally and there's nothing worse than forcing things on when they're over. But it's hard not to be sad, we've had so many good times, so much laughter and so many fumbled steps!

We had a great lesson and were joined by two lovely people who used to come but stopped, so that was fun. The we finished early for a glass of something fizzy whilst everyone tried not to get teary. And they gave me a balloon and a bottle of something for my forthcoming birthday, which was totally unexpected and very, very sweet.

Some of them are going to try out a lesson at a rival school, but it doesn't feel right to me, disloyal in some way. And I'm not sure another teacher and another class would put up with my bumbling. So that's it - no more tap.

Twelve years - more than quarter of my life! I was a different person back then. So much has happened since! But I'll always love tap because it got me on stage in front of friends and family, something I'd have never, ever done otherwise. Here's our first show - I'm the one with the maracas, puffy sleeves, camp cumberbund and no sense of rhythm!



You can see the other years here: 2000, 2002, 2005 & 2007. There would have been a 2003, in which I was dressed in a white Elvis jumpsuit complete with medallion and chest hair, but Dad died a couple of days before so I never made it onto the stage.

I don't think it will really hit me that it's over until the New Year when I suddenly find myself free on a Tuesday. Nothing can ever take its place, it's been fab! And now I must stop thinking about it before I cry!

Today I went to IKEA in search of wardrobes. I bought wellington boots:



Why? Well Ema & I were halfway through a marathon shopping frenzy at the time and it seemed to make sense! There was actual logic applied to the decision and a lengthy discussion took place, the gist of which is that a proper wellington boot is very long and heavy and a bit of a nightmare to where at a festival, whilst this shorter boot is lighter and has a nice soft, slightly furry lining. I wanted them in red but they only did those in ladies sizes, which is a tad narrow minded!

And the wardrobes? Well, I've had something of an epiphany about those! For the last week or so the clothes have just been piled on the floor, and it made me realise that the kind of clothes I have don't need to hang up, so why do I need all that hanging space? I'm also liking the fact that they're at low level, leaving as large blank piece of wall clear above them. So my current thought is a pair of chest of drawers, side by side, providing a great block of storage but without the height. In my mind I'm picturing a single piece of decorative red glass standing on top of one chest and more art on the walls.

So that's what I had in mind as I wandered round, although I did weaken slightly when I saw their wardrobes with all the clever little drawers and hangers. But to be honest I'm scared of a repeat wardrobe nightmare so it's not going to happen! I briefly flirted with a piece of office furniture with a nice silver roll-top, which might have done, but it just looked like office furniture! So I think it will be chests of drawers, but first I need to convince myself that it's the sensible solution and not just a reaction to the whole wardrobe fiasco!

I also fell in love with a white leather sofa, although I think it might be too large for my living room. And of course the meatballs were fabulous!

Back to work tomorrow - obviously I'm not keen.....

Today I should have been in Amsterdam but instead I ended up bickering with my Mum about Christmas tablecloths - life is full of surprises!

I spent the afternoon with the 24 year old. I'd planned to take him for coffee in town instead of taking him to bed, because we both keep saying how much we like the other as a person not just as a plaything, so I thought it would be good to put that into practice. It was also for a bit of self-preservation - I don't want to find myself falling for him, because that would be ridiculous.

But he had other ideas, so off we went to bed. In bed he kept looking me in the eyes, which I found unnerving and far too intimate, and he noticed so I made a joke of it. But as we lay there, with his head on my shoulder and my arm round his, I could happily have stayed there forever. Interestingly his boyfriend is not in the least bit suspicious or jealous as he thinks I'm not the kind of person the 24 year old would go for.

Chasing after a 24 year old - hands up who's approaching 40! I'm such a cliche...