I know I said I wasn't making New Year's resolutions, but it's still January so I don't think it's too late to add one: I will only ever buy furniture from IKEA.

Why? Because they're bloody marvellous!

Yesterday four boxes of wood turned up and after less than five hours work they're now a pair of chest of drawers:



The quality is so much better than the nightmare wardrobes, and they do the job just as well, so I'm happy. And organised! You can buy a glass top for the them but I'm undecided as to whether they need it or not.

I also have to be brave and face the drill - I now have six pictures to hang in the bedroom, which means six holes, which probably means three hours of terror, so you can see why I've been putting it off!

Oh and to celebrate I'm eating Easter Eggs. I have no willpower.

Today there were lots of things that could have gone horribly wrong, but amazingly it all went well - don't you love days like that!

The car's back! I think it's back to normal, but it's hard to tell as I've been driving another car for three days so I've forgotten what it drives like. As soon as I got in I thought the brakes had gone, but of course they were different from a modern car. It's lovely to have it back!

And the chest of drawers arrived too! The first set were assembled in two and a half hours, which is pretty impressive considering how inept I am with a screwdriver! I celebrated with chips and am saving the other set for tomorrow morning. I'm loving IKEA - if only everything in the world were as good as IKEA!

I have no car news today but we can talk about power tools and football if you'd like? No? Thank God!

Back in the real world, let's talk about Kylie!

She's got a new CD out, not new material though but a collection of remixes from the last eight years. A dancier version of her greatest hits really. And frankly it's fabulous! After the dullness of the last album it's refreshing to find myself wanting to wave my arms in the air and shake my butt to Kylie. If she had any sense she'd ditch the dancers, get a few lights and tour this round small venues where we could worship her like she deserves.

To get you in the mood here's my favourite song from her last album. If you've got hotpants now would be a good time to put them on!



Back in the real world I had meatballs for tea. This is hardly news, apart from the fact that I've never seen fresh ones in the supermarket before so I got a bit giddy and bought some. They were strangely exciting, which gives you a sense of just how dull my week has been!

Welcome to another episode of Top Gear*

It wasn't the head gasket at all, just a spark plug. The end of it had fallen off and stuck in the plug lead, so when I reconnected the lead the connection actually wasn't made.

So I would have got the car back today only the door lock now doesn't work - when you turn the key the button inside doesn't pop up. It's happened before and usually I just get in the other side and open the door from the interior handle. Not this time. It's not a disaster, these things work on rods so something must have become unhooked, should be easy to fix once the door panel is off.

But that means I'll have another day of being restless - I can't settle when the car is away from me! All day I couldn't concentrate, I just pushed papers around the desk in imitation of work. Who'd have thought a car could make me feel so crazy?

*Top Gear is a British TV programme in which three annoying men test drive cars. These men are quite literally worshipped by the straight men I work with. The ringleader, Jeremy Clarkson, is a c*nt.

I've been a bit preoccupied this week because the car isn't running properly. I hate it when the car doesn't run properly, I love the car and it makes me want to weep! But I was proactive about it and phoned the garage yesterday and they're going to look at it tomorrow.

But that means I've had two days to wonder/worry about what it can be. Last night I was out in the dark with a torch, peering under the bonnet, checking spark plug leads. One was loose so I hoped that when I pushed it back on everything would be better, and even did a small lap of honour to celebrate. But it didn't. Bugger.

Are you surprised I know where the spark plugs are?

Anyway, as I sat at work this morning the words "head gasket" drifted through my brain so I spent my lunchtime online trying to work out if that's what it might be. Thankfully Jan provided mechanical advice by email and I'm back to thinking it's spark plugs. Fingers crossed!

Today's oddest moment happened at Mum's, who I'd popped over to see after work. As we were chatting the TV was on in the background, one of those annoying antique programmes where people auction stuff. They started talking about a strangely shaped walking stick and said, "can you guess what's it's made of?" "Bone!", I yelled before I could help myself. I wish. It was a bull's penis. "Blimey!" said Mum and I simultaneously. Then I realised we were on the verge of having a conversation about animal cock and I ran away!

Today I went back to work, back to reality. I don't know why but somehow I thought it might be less dull than it was - clearly my brain was full of pastry and I'd forgotten just how dull it really is. I've been reminded now!

This evening I've taken all the Christmas cards and decorations down, so it looks like Christmas never happened. And it looks dark - this house really needs some extra lighting!

I've got a quiet couple of weeks ahead of me, so expect a bit of "I'm bored!" whinging as the week progresses. But there's madness brewing with the 24 year old so perhaps things won't be quite so dull after all! I just wish the hideous cold weather would go away...

OK, important things first - the new Doctor Who:



His name is Matt Smith, and no, I've never heard of him either. They did a fabulous job of keeping it secret - just minutes before the programme announcing him as the new Doctor began I was trawling the internet for clues and his name only came up once - how impressive is that! From the clips they showed of his previous work it looks like he's done proper drama, so hopefully the acting shouldn't be a problem.

But he's not very attractive is he? That hair is quite scandalous. He reminds me of someone, and although I can't think who the thing that keeps coming back to me is Velvet Goldmine, a slightly dodgy film loosely based on the life of David Bowie, with Ewan Macgregor as an Iggy Pop type character.



Looks aside I'm keeping an open mind. Yes David Tennant will be a hard man to follow, but who knows? I think the main problem is that we won't get to see him until 2010, which gives people a long time to work up ridiculous dislikes to him. Poor man, good luck!


Yesterday was rather sociable, which made a nice change as whilst this holiday hasn't exactly been antisocial I've haven't really seen that many people.

In the morning we went to my sister's as it was my nephew's birthday. It was also my first chance to see the house since the roof went on and the scaffolding came down. It looks fantastic, lots of space, and huge windows. She's obviously very excited, which is nice to see as she's often just seemed exhausted by the whole thing. There was cake and rather excellent gifts, so a good morning was had by all.

Then in the evening I went to see FM & BF. It's been a few months since I saw them last, not for any bad reason, it's just a bit trickier now the BF is working in Kent during the week, and they've been busy months anyway. But we've stayed in touch because I genuinely like them as people, so it was lovely to see them.

FM cooked dinner, which was a nice start to the evening: two bottles of wine, a baked Camembert, and roast lamb - yummy! Then we went to a bar, which turned out to be fab! It was small and modern but still managed to feel a little bit old and country, and they had the best stocked bar I've seen in ages: a whole shelf just for different vodkas! And impressively the staff knew how to use them. You'd expect to find this kind of place in a city, not in a Suffolk town. If it was my local I'd never leave!

But cocktails are evil, and I really should learn to say no. But the process of making them is so interesting, and they always come in such pretty glasses! I had a slight James Bond moment and ordered a Martini, which I think I've never had before, but it was a mistake: "how would you like it?" the surly but handsome barman asked (why are barmen so damned attractive!) - like I'd know! Apparently I could chose the vodka, but I just shrugged and FM suggested, "dry?" When offered "shaken or stirred?" I blurted out "shaken!" without understanding the difference. I just laughed when he put an olive in it. It's just a pity the result was sour and not especially enjoyable. The Cosmopolitan I had afterwards was much better, and might explain the bad head I've had for most of the day....